I started writing this post almost three weeks ago now, when I had finally arrived home after about 3 weeks away for various reasons.  Amazingly, the day I started writing this post, Cait Flanders published a post that was so fitting to what I was trying to convey, I wondered if somehow we had some psychic connection (side note – I don’t really think that we do, it was just a strange coincidence).

Anyway, after reading that post, I was pretty much ready to abandon this post because Cait is such a great writer, there was no way that I could convey my thoughts in a way that was any better.  I’m also not sure this post will fit in to any of the existing categories on my blog, but since I haven’t really been home lately, I don’t have any of the typical things to post about… And on my 3 hour drive alone the other night, I got to thinking… That can be dangerous when you are alone sometimes, but after an amazing fun weekend with 3 of my good girl friends, it was all very positive.

I think I’ve posted now that I am an engineer.  Being a female engineer is still not super common, and during my time at university, there were only a few girls in my year.  Of those girls, for some reason, 4 of us seemed to stick together after graduation.  It’s not to say that we weren’t friends with other girls in the program, but for whatever reason, now that we have been out of school for 10 years, the 4 of us still manage to stay in touch and be good friends.

We make an effort to plan a weekend together once a year.  Sometimes it doesn’t work out to exactly once a year, sometimes not everyone can make it, but we try… I think I may have posted about it once… It was with these ladies that the idea for a puzzle club was hatched…

You may or may not have this type of friend, depending on your situation, but we are the type of friends that can not see each other, or even really communicate that much, for months and months, sometimes years, but when we get together it’s easy.  We can be ourselves, we catch up, have fun and don’t have to worry about not being super consistent with keeping in touch.  If you don’t have that type of friend, you should work on that.  They are really the best!  Of course, if you are actually really good at keeping in touch, then I guess you don’t have the need for that type of friend… but anyway, I digress…

One of the wonders of our friendships is that we are all so very, very different.  Sure, we are all engineers, and with that comes certain characteristics that are definitely similar, but we went through different types of engineering, and all of our current jobs are all very different from each other.  We all have such very different strengths and characteristics that, I guess, fit together well to make a foursome that just clicks.

One of them reads this blog (or says she does anyway), but the other two only learned that I had a blog this past girls’ weekend.  So, hopefully they don’t mind me sharing…

Friend 1, who hosted us at her new place this past girls’ weekend, is super outgoing and confident.  She is ambitious and fearless (or just really courageous, so it comes off as fearless, not totally sure).  She is moving up the ladder in her career extremely quickly, and is super competent and confident in her abilities.  I have always admired how carefree she seems, and how easy she gets along with everyone.  She is always up for fun adventures, and has the stories to prove it.  On all of these adventures, she is never in want of friends and companions.  Her ability to make friends is unparalleled.

Friend 2 is the one who reads my blog, and also has a blog of her own, though she hasn’t posted on it in quite a while.  She is one of the reasons that this blog exists.  I really hope that I can get her to write a guest post or two for my blog (or convince her to continue blogging on her own blog, or start a new one if she wants to change focus).  Anyway, she has always been the one that seems to have things figured out in life and her priorities straight.  She always looks amazing.  Fit, beautiful, and put together.  And she always seems to have everything in her life so well organized… I doubt she even knows how to procrastinate (my specialty).

Friend 3 is our friend who is the first to have a baby of the 4 of us.  She is so cool and so good.  You know the friend that you want to be because she doesn’t get wrapped up in the bullshit of the world, and instead does the stuff you know you “should” do but for what ever reason (or excuses you make up), you don’t?  Like promote women in engineering and advocate for gender equality.  I’m not going to lie… there have been times where I wondered why someone as cool as her would want to hang out with a dork like me, but she keeps coming back, so I guess she likes me?  This past girls’ weekend she described the process of childbirth to us as only she could.  The rest of us being pretty much in the dark about everything baby related, it was great to get it from her in such a straight forward factual way (you know, how engineers like it).

I’m not totally sure what I bring to the picture, but it’s hard to dissect your own personality the same way… But in any case, the 4 of us get along great, and every time I get together with them I am reminded of how great each of them are and how they make me want to be a better version of myself by emulating their strengths.

But, as Cait said in her post, wanting to be better is not the same as being better… 

What I am going to do about that?  Well, with the month and a half left in this year, I really want to concentrate on the goals (#7 & #8) I made for 2016 to spend more time with family and friends.  And I’m going to follow along with Cait’s list of ways to be better in my relationships with those people.  Especially the first two – be present and create space.

To go along with that, when I start creating my goals for 2017, I really want to make sure that I take the time to examine what it is about each of these friends that makes me want to be better, and attempt to put an action plan in place to move towards that better, rather than just dream about it.

Do you have friends that make you want to be better?  Are you actively and intentionally moving toward that “better”?


2 thoughts on “Friends

  1. I can totally relate. I have a couple of friends from college that have done some amazing things in their life and I wonder why in the world do they still hang out with me. With that said I think it’s amazing that you have such an awesome group of friends to pull you up and help stretch you. Sounds like you lucked out!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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